Breakthroughs are tough!

e5e2ee6b6c6e67816ccdd1decb77f4f3--scott-fitzgerald-quotes-l'wren-scott

So the last couple of days has been frustrating but interesting and exciting for me. My MC (Main character) has been very silent as of late but my villain has not. I started wondering who is my MC out of the two.

I just went through a webinar called Jump Start Your Novel with the phenomenal Debbie Burns and she gave us a story structure to help us outline our story. After looking over it, I decided that how I had my beginning would not fit in this story structure and got VERY stressed and frustrated. However, thanks to a lot of discussing various ideas, story plot, etc with my hubby and writing tribe, I ~think~ we have figured out how to fix things and I am working on get my beginning situated right to hook you readers.  SO YAY ME!

Also, you notice I said ‘tribe’ and ‘we’. Something a lot of people do not know/understand. Not all writers write alone.  A lot of us are realizing that having a tribe (support, accountability people, writing coaches, beta readers, etc) is a GOOD thing for us writers.  Writers forget to eat.. forget to do self-care…and have bad days where they just want to throw the computer/notebook/etc out the window and give up. Having a tried & true tribe to ‘lean into’, as Debbie puts it, helps keep those bad thoughts away, keeps us writing, and helps us remember to take care of US on those dark days or just when we get so wrapped up in writing we forget to eat.

grateful

I appreciate every person that has helped me on my journey. First and foremost my amazing husband Greywolfe. Without him, I don’t know what I would do and I sure wouldn’t be writing. I love you baby!!

Thank you to my sisters Kelly, Tammy, Terra, Patti, and Amber for all their help, their support, and putting up with my frustrations and bouncing around stories.

Thanks A TON to Ginger for helping me learn how to manage my stress better and just being an awesome friend to boot!

I can’t even say how grateful I am to Debbie Burns, the awesome amazing fan-dam-tastic writing coach and Queen Unicorn of Creative Central. This woman has seriously turned my writing all around and on its head. She has been so damn supportive, she is fun, she is loving and most of all she is SO DANG knowledgeable. She teaches us all how to handle our writing in ways that are much easier to understand and deal with than most books. She has built a wonderful group *Creative Central on FB — for women writers — only come join!*  that has the most supportive group of women I have ever seen. She also runs this unbelievable, incredible, and informative course called Fiction Expedition. Y’all… this thing is THE SHIZNIT…I am NOT lying or exaggerating here. I was in her alpha group and will be in her beta group as well being as its much longer and a lot more content than the last which makes me so excited I can’t even begin to tell you! LOL!

And of course, last but not least, my family and friends that have pushed and supported and asked for more. You all supporting and enjoying my writing means more to me than y’all will EVER know. I just hope that when my book comes out that I don’t disappoint you!.

Love all of you and I’ll be back with more news about my novel, with a proper title finally soon!

Fifty Years of Bad Decisions: Change the Voices Within—and Without Breaking the Legacy of Silence #44 | Kim D. Bailey | FIVE:2:ONE

This is some powerful stuff right here and sings to my soul deeply. I agree 100%. CHANGE the voices within and don’t let others make you feel less for ANY reason. We ALL make mistakes, every damn one of us! No one is perfect and we’ve all made a bad decision or two…goddess knows I have. Why beat yourself up or let others beat you up mentally for shit that’s done and over with? Only you can change you and only YOU can keep others from making you feel like you aren’t good enough. This man was wrong with what he did on so many levels. Fight those demons, find people to help you fight those demons, and brush off people who have no compassion for others and act high and mighty. They aren’t worth your energy.
Kim D. Bailey ❤ You go girl! Keep fighting! ❤

Kim D Bailey

My life is exactly that—mine. I do the best with it each day. No one has a right to preface their justifications for denying me anything based on who I am, or even all I’ve done. Deny me your time, protection, money, or love—just do it honestly and take responsibility for it instead of pushing that off on me.

http://five2onemagazine.com/fifty-years-bad-decisions-change-voices-within-without-breaking-legacy-silence-44-kim-d-bailey/

View original post

The growth and death of dreams 

Pattimouse

Dreams are what we build our lives on. They are part of who we are, and eventually of what we become. Dreams that we do not work towards die off.

I am by nature a dreamer. I am doing what I have always wanted to do. I am writing. Is it exactly as the girl I was at nine imagined? No, not really. I am working on making it into what I need it to be.

Over the course of my life I have had other dreams. I have always been a simple person. The biggest thing I have dreamed about is being stable, having a home of my own. Note I said home. For me there is a defined difference between house and home. House is where you live, it is not yours but instead owned by another. A home is somewhere that no one can make you leave…

View original post 156 more words

#DeclareIt #ClaimYourStory

2a416a6843152500702b4e3aeb1c247e

I WILL BE A BEST SELLING AUTHOR NEXT YEAR! I am yelling this from the top of a mountain in my head!

As you all know, I am on a writing journey that has spanned 35 years on and off. The past couple of years I have really gone head  first into writing again and over the last year, I have had the privilege of being in an AMAZING group called Creative Central. This is a women’s only writing group and has been THE best writing group I’ve ever been in. It is run by an awesome woman by the name of Debbie Burns (check out her website she’s AHHHHMAZING!) . The support and love and lifting up that happens in this group is…I can’t even find the perfect word to describe it…..that’s how great it is!

But thanks to this group and Debbie, I have finally gotten focused on a story and am able to ‘see’ it and how it’s going to play out (for the most part, still parts that I’m working on but that’s normal!) and have found a fantastic tribe to share this journey with that also gives me a kick in the pants when I need it!

Debbie gave a webinar to talk to us about Jump-starting our Novel and stressed to us that we need to CLAIM our story. Our old one AND our new one. So that is what I’m doing. I am claiming my new story. I’ve been working through my old one and kicking the bad things to the curb (with the help of another phenomenal woman by the name of Ginger Nichole Baker  ) and now I’m ‘stumbling forward’ through my new journey.

These ladies, along with my ever supportive and loving husband and my best friends, have helped me see my potential. They have helped me see that I AM good enough..that I AM a good writer…that I CAN be a best selling author….that I AM worthy of love…that I am NOT dumb…that I am NOT a bitch….that I am NOT a failure…that I am in control of my life…that I can be whatever I set my mind to…that I am a strong woman no matter what my father has said or thinks. I will NOT ever go back to believing everything he and my stepmother filled my head with. My looks have NOTHING to do with my success in life. I have a GREAT personality, a HUGE heart, and I have always put others first.  My love of reading and writing, my empathy, my connection to nature and animals — none of that makes me ‘odd’ or ‘weird’…it makes me ME. I am intelligent, I am creative, and I AM AN AUTHORPRENEUR!

This post is my declaration that my life just took a turn for the BEST. I WILL be a best selling author…My husband and I WILL have the life WE deserve. I WILL make enough money where he will not have to work 60+ hours a week anymore to make ends meet. That shit ends next year! This is NOT wishful thinking..THIS. IS. A . FACT.

No more doing what makes everyone else happy. This is for ME…for MY family. The family that stands by me…the family that loves me for ME….the family that is proud of what I have become….the family that celebrates what GOOD I’ve done instead of the mistakes I made in the past that have NOTHING to do with the life I have now….the family I have made for myself because I didn’t have one when I was younger. I had relatives..not a family.

This is my independence day from all the shit I’ve hung on to for years. No more bowing to pressure from people who seriously don’t give a shit about me and are only trying now because I have a REAL family and found family that has been lost to me my entire life.

So today, again, I make this claim.

I….WILL….BE…A… BESTSELLING…AUTHOR…NEXT…YEAR! I WILL have my novel finished by Christmas(if not before) and it WILL be published next year!

For all y’all that don’t believe me..or believe IN me…WATCH ME!

Thank you to everyone that has stood by me through everything over the last few years and for all the love and support. I love each and everyone of you and am happy to call you my family. ❤

 

#CharacterDeepDive – Lily’s Worst Fear

c8371d4f1aa2642f7b302940922e5009

 

 

Lily was in the council room looking over some papers when she heard the door open. She turned to see who it was and raised an eyebrow when she saw it was her father, mother, and the 3 of the other elders.

“Uhhh… is everything okay? What’s with the group entrance?”

Her father came to her and gathered her up out of her chair, holding her tight to him. Her mother walked over and stood close by, looking haggard and like she  had been crying. Lily looks up at her parents, her eyes widening in fear, and peered over her father’s shoulder searching for her great-grandmother.

“Is it great mother? Has something happened to her!?”

“No, Great Mother is as fine as she can be right now. My Starflower…my sweet daughter,” her father begins, his voice catching as he tries to break the news. “I am so sorry but…” he chokes, tears running down his face, “Dmi….Dmitrie has been found…..he’s been found dead.” The last word is whispered as if saying it quietly would make it not true.

Lily shoves her father off of her and stares at him. “What!? NO….nononononono..” She starts pacing in a circle, kicks her chair, and using her arms  shoves all the papers that had been on her desk off of it, a feral scream emitting from her throat. She takes her chair and throws it across the room, just barely missing the guard standing near the doors. Her father and mother both grab hold of her and hold her tight to them. Lily fights them, screaming and wailing at the loss of her best friend. She beats on her father’s chest, shouting a stream of no, until she tires herself out. Once she has quieted down to just whimpers, her father and mother carefully bring her to the floor, both holding her close, trying to comfort her as best as they can.

“How?” She whispers.

“One of my rangers found him near the border of Galna Alari and the road leading to Twilight Province.” Elder Pavaris states, his voice barely a whisper. “I am so sorry, my Queen. I don’t even understand why he would have been there.”

She takes a couple of deep breaths and looks up at the elders who, after she had been subdued, had moved closer to them in the case they were needed.

“Lord Pavaris….Lord Anafiel.”

“My Queen,” they said in unison.

“I want you to do whatever it takes and hunt down the creature that did this. And I mean whatever it takes.  You WILL bring this ….whoever/whatever it is…to me once you find them.” She gently pushes her parents away and wobbles a bit as she stands and looks at the people she trusts most in front of her.

“This will NOT go unpunished. This will NOT be like when my grandmother died. It will NOT go unsolved. We WILL turn this city upside down to find out what happened. Dmitrie…” her voice cracks as she says his name and then shakes her head and does her best to settle herself. <She is Queen after all> she thinks to herself.

Out loud she whispers, “Dmitrie did not deserve whatever was done to him. Please handle him like you would handle me and bring him to the Sacred Throne once you ….” she starts to cry again, her voice breaking as she thinks about what they will be doing over the next few days. She swallows and tries again. “Once you are done …preparing him.”

The elders all nod solemnly. “Who is attending to Lord Pettoris and his family?”

“That is why Great-Mother is not here, my Queen.” This from Khilseith, who until now had been very quiet.

Lily nods, sniffling and doing her best to try and get herself back under control. “I need you all to do what you can to find this miscreant.  Including you Lord Olastra.  I need you to help Kyrenic through this and utilize all the magic you have to deal with this situation.”

Khilseith nods. “As you wish, my Queen.”

Lily turns to everyone. “Now everyone but my parents, leave and do as I asked. And,” she pauses. her eyes a swirling mass of dark green and goldenrod, whispers, ” thank you.”

 

#CharacterDeepDive Part II — Main Character Liliana Mordov

 

Prompt #1

Lily and Dmitrie stood behind the doors waiting to be announced. Lily’s left arm, settled lightly on top of his right, trembled making the lace from her sleeve cause slight goose bumps to appear on his alabaster skin. He patted her hand and smiled at her.

“It will be okay your Majesty,” He whispered.

She turned slightly to look at him and gave him a weak smile in return. She felt like her whole body was one big tangled knot. It had been officially announced the day before that she, the Queen, had returned and a great ball was immediately planned for the next night. So here she stood with her best friend and personal assistant, about to walk into a room with all of the high society families of Galna Alari. Some of these people she hadn’t seen since she was a youngling, others she had never met.

They heard the music start in the next room and the guards started to open doors. Lily swallowed hard. It was loud enough that Dmitrie looked at her sideways and the guard standing there raised an eyebrow. She plastered a smile on her face and nodded.

As they entered the ballroom, other than the music playing, it was completely quiet. Lily looked around at everyone, smiling as she made one foot go in front of the other, her heart racing all the while. At the first smile from her, the entire place erupted into cheers. Dmitrie led her down the aisle through the throngs of aristocrats, smiling at everyone, and doing his best to keep Lily steady. Once through all the well-dressed elves, he helped her up to the dais where Great-Mother Talinia, Lady Talia, and Elder Theren Mordov stood waiting for her. Dmitrie took his place next to her. The room fell silent once more and Elder Mordov stepped forward. Using a bit of magic, his voice propelled across the room so that even those on the other side could hear him.

“Ladies and gentle-elves, I want to introduce you to your Queen, Her Majesty Queen Liliana Mordov.” The room erupts once more into cheers. He lets it go on for a moment or two then waves his hand for silence and steps back and motions for Lily to say something.

She swallows hard again and steps forward. Cold sweat drips down her back and she flexed her fingers, doing her best to not wipe her clammy hands on her stunning forest green gown. Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson and her hazel eyes appeared damp and overly bright. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then spoke to the waiting crowd. Thankfully her father had left the magic going for as quiet as she spoke, only Dmitrie would have heard her next words.

“Um…hi. I ….umm,” she fidgets with the ring her mother had given her when she had arrived a few days before. She takes another deep breath. “Thank…umm..thank you for such a be….beautiful welcome. I….I uhhh…”She clears her throat. “I’ll try to do my best as your queen. Thank you. Enjoy the ball.”

She steps back and does her best to smile at the stunned faces in front of her.

Elder Mordov steps back up and gives everyone a big smile.

“You will have to forgive our queen. This is still an adjustment but I assure you, she will adapt and she will lead us back to the greatness and close knit city we once were!”

The elves erupt into cheers and shouts of encouragement and love to Lily were heard here and there. Theren turns to his daughter and bows. He turns around, flicks his hand and the music starts up once more. “Now everyone enjoy the ball and make this a ball we will never forget!”

Fear,  and why I accept that I may never be over it. 

Very insightful and extremely true!

Pattimouse

I am a fearful creature. It comes from living a life stuck in fight or flight mode. Well here lately,  due to a wonderful writing coach (Hi Debbie!) I have been taking a closer look at my fears.  She asked me “will this actually kill you?  If not then you should be willing to try it. ” She has gently encouraged me to see what is not helpful,  and then release it.

Phobias are knee jerk reactions. Primal,  dark things that eat at us. And rarely things that we can easily face.  I myself have two phobias.  Claustrophobia and Acrophobia. The Claustrophobia I know can kill me,  I have been in the position where I was sure it would.  I often try to challenge my fear of heights. Do I have other fears? Well sure,  but phobias are so much bigger than just a fear.  We all have…

View original post 108 more words